College Boys and Pennsylvania Autumns

Today I drove nearly 350 miles up through central Virginia -- across the Blue Ridge Mountains -- into West Virginia and through some of the the Allegheny Mountains to visit my son. We had heavy rains last night, so my 7:00 am departure got pushed to 8:00 and even then there was a good bit of fog. Once it began to burn off, I was a spectator of a wondrous picture show. Our leaves down in Virginia tend to lean toward the yellows -- but today, against an aqua-blue sky and through a good pair of sunglasses, the neon oranges and reds were really showing off. The further north I drove, the more spectacular the hues. Even the roads felt smoother as I skimmed northward, awestruck. I hurried to my goal -- the kid I dropped off nearly two months ago who is happy and thriving.

My journey this time was slightly different than trips to visit or collect my daughter. She tends to incessantly text, asking how much longer I'll be ... that she's impatiently awaiting my arrival. (This makes me feel loved.) No such texts came in from my son today. He's way more chill AND he knew when I would be arriving. I have no doubt that his anticipation was as real as my daughter's is. Mr. Cool gave me a mediocre hug in front of his roomie. I asked for a better one and got it. Then we went up to his dorm room with no real agenda other than to reconnect and be introduced to his new life. Very cool.

After almost 30 years, it still feels like I'm misbehaving if I walk into a boys' dorm room. To this day, my Alma Mater rarely permits the opposite sex to enter an opposite sex's room -- even moms and dads -- unless it's a Saturday or Sunday within specific hours. Today a kid (young man, actually) walked past the open dorm room door in a towel. He knew I was there because we'd already been introduced! but I'm just a mom. It was actually sort of sweet. Shortly thereafter, I hauled that same boy, my own boy and his roommate to Walmart for Nerf supplies for an upcoming Zombie War. Boys are really weird. I love them.

And, in case you're wondering, Zombie parties trump Mom. Yep. Girls want to spend every moment with you -- boys love you, go shopping for cool toys, have dinner -- but then it's play time. See you tomorrow. Don't get me wrong ... I don't mind. I just find the contrast very interesting. We have all of tomorrow slated for togetherness, but plans are plans. I was not asked to do any laundry or clean his room, which actually wasn't too gross aside from the fact that he hasn't washed his towel even once. Boys.

It's brisk tonight. A cold front is moving in with rain and it brings back all sorts of associations from my years here in northwestern Pennsylvania. During my senior year, it rained each and every day in November. Seriously. And still I love cold, rainy days. Virginia doesn't really have rainy days like Pennsylvania. I miss them! I fell in love in the cold -- coat-wearing, puddling-jumping, heart-skipping cold. But I think I only entered David's dorm room two times -- legally --and I still felt like a wayward bimbo. I do confess, however, that he snuck into my dorm room at least once -- the night before my graduation. If we had been caught, I probably would not have received my diploma. Boy trumped rules in that case! (Remember the Prude test, children ...) We had no banned substances, though, so maybe they would have let us off "easy." Yeh ... no. You see, in order to have "inter-vis," (intervisitation -- I'm embarrassed to explain) it had to be a Friday evening, a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday afternoon. Someone from your floor had to volunteer to be there for the duration of intervisitation hours with their door wide open so they could witness, report, and put an end to any unseemly hanky-panky. THEN, in order to actually have a guest or guests of the opposite sex, you had to sign them in (a log of indiscretions) AND keep your door open at least 6" and each person in the room had to maintain at least one foot on the floor at all times. I'M SERIOUS. And, no, this was not the 1950's. I'm all for single-sex dorms and appreciate the freedom that they offer, but my little college took it a little too far -- and still does to this day. Tonight, my son had two sweet girls waiting outside his dorm room to go over to the party -- harmlessly, innocently right there in their doorway. In front of a mom. I think they learn more about appropriate behavior with a little latitude to exercise it. Well, at least I hope they do.

David lived off-campus his senior year. The college permitted it because he was married. Guess what, Dean -- we're sleeping together now! Sorry ... but it really is funny. They worked so hard to keep boys and girls apart but failed to realize that the chapel was an excellent rendezvous point for some of the less holier-than-thou chapel aides. No kidding. As a young, oblivious freshman, I was shocked to hear of such behavior. I still am! Nonetheless, the institution of marriage did and still does mean something! Monogamy -- the soul-deepness of sex. I wish our youth of today believed in it a bit more than I fear they do.

In the backyard of our first home there stood a grand Maple tree. Each October it would transform from a lush, green shade tree to a blinding, glowing orange ball of fire -- with quivering red-tipped leaves. I can't do this tree justice with words. It was just the most beautiful thing in the world -- for those few, select days each fall. Who can believe that this kind of beauty randomly occurs because some single-celled lifeform divided into two? Only a creative Creator could even begin to imagine -- and then bring forth -- such brilliance. Twenty-four years after moving from that house, no tree has ever rivaled that old Maple. I should drive over to see it tomorrow. Like the sunset, the Autumn ... drawing near to death. Those leaves are dying. Greenness signifies life; orange signifies transition to death. David died in the Autumn ... after a darn beautiful display of color over his last month. He was a brilliant Creation, too ...

... as is my son -- complete with nerf battles, zombie parties and chums he's proud to introduce to me. My heart has some empty rooms in it today. My daughter's place is here, too, yet she's half a world away, casting her shining light on a bunch of other blessed people. And David should be here for Family Weekend. Actually, he kind of is ... maybe we'll visit the cemetary tomorrow, too -- it's within walking distance. We won't have to sneak-in after-hours to visit him, either.